The Penguins bent over the Bedardless Blackhawks and spanked them so hard you would have thought they were a six-year-old who just cussed out their dad after his seventh Budweiser. Justin Brazeau netted a hattrick, Rust had a pair, Mantha once, and Acciari was an assist shy of a Gordie Howe hattrick. Coming out of the break with a 7-3 win is exactly what Santa needed to deliver this team. The playoff odds have dropped from roughly 70 down to the mid 30s but the doesn’t matter, we are clearly back. We removed hockey’s version of a sloth, Kevin Hayes, from the lineup and suddenly we looked like the 2013 Penguins. Yeah, sure, we were playing arguably the league’s worst team, but a win is a win. No one should consider the Blackhawks are close to done with their rebuild, without Bedard and Nazar they might legitimately lose to the Wilkes Barre Penguins.

The Penguins are back, plain and simple. But Mr. Brooks it was only one win against a piss poor team? I could not care less who we beat, they needed a game like that especially after the break. Anyone who wants to argue with me should start punching air because Dubas is buying after the W. Less than an hour ago the Penguins traded for 24-year-old, former KHL rookie of the year, Yegor Chinakov. The Penguins sent Danton Heinen, a 2026 2nd, and a 2027 3rd for his services. How can we be back by trading for a guy averaging 10 minutes of ice time and 6 points this year you ask? Because I, like Dubas, know hockey and you don’t. This is yet another Dubas masterclass. How is Chinakov going to slot into this team? Not a single clue. My best guess, Koivunen is returned to Wilkes until we trade Novak or Rakell.

Any simpletons out there think that I might be suggesting that Chinakov is a simple replacement for Rakell. I am not suggesting that I am suggesting that if Chinakov can find his scoring touch from two years ago it gives Dubas a bevy of options. The most obvious option is to Trade Rakell which would allow you to likely improve your D core and not necessarily make the team worse given Chinakov comes here and thrives.

Chinakov publicly asked out of Columbus and has seen his ice time reduced by 5 minutes a night. Yet, Dubas traded a 2nd and a 3rd for services. This is not a Phil Tomasino trade where we give up a 4th to see if the guy can play, no no no. This trade is for a guy that Dubas thinks can actually make a difference with his new team. You don’t move out a 2nd and 3rd for a guy who you are simply acquiring to see if a change of scenery is going to help his game, not even if you have a million draft picks like Dubas does. You make this trade because you see something in the player than can help your team. Also, I get to play both sides of the fence because if it doesn’t work out you can let him walk and you still have a million picks so who cares? However, Dubas is clearly a mastermind. He is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. He saw Columbus trade a 2nd for Mason Marchment last week and said, “I have two extra seconds maybe I can sucker that idiot Waddell into trading a 24-year-old first round pick.” Then Dubas went out and executed.

Portzline already knows they are going to lament this decision. Maybe Chinakov plays with Malkin and Pittsburgh replenishes the traded picks by moving on from Mantha. If that’s the case, the Penguins might have the second coming of Ovechkin-Semin in terms NHL Russian combos. If you are thinking this is hyperbole, you likely cannot think the game on a deeper level. Every single move Dubas has made since trading Jake Guentzel has been as valuable as silver right now, let the man cook.

Tomorrow, the Penguins face off against regular season Rod Brind’amour and the Carolina Hurricanes. Chinakov might not be available to the Penguins just yet but that’s alright because the Pens are back. If you are fascinated with watching an NHL team, try man coverage in the d-zone, go watch for the Hurricanes. If you are interested in seeing a team with a GM who is quietly building a monster, go watch for the Penguins. The Hurricanes are a snooze-fest that consistently impregnate their fans with false hope. I recently predicted them to go to the cup out of the East, but they’ll never win it because they’re coached for the regular season not the playoffs just like the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Speaking of the Steelers, for the love of God fire Mike Tomlin. He is a complete joke. He cared more about stopping Garrett from getting a sack than he did about getting his team into the playoffs. If you are a Steelers fan and you are not done with this guy, you should seek out a mental institution right now.