Your cart is currently empty!
The Hail Mary Episode 20

Eagles Embarrassed on Thursday Night Football
Philly came in thinking this was a bounce back game against the Giants. Instead they got humiliated. Jaxson Dart, rookie first round pick, looked like a seasoned vet. He threw for 195 yards, ran for more, and the Eagles defense couldnโt stop Cam Skattebo, who put up three touchdowns on the ground.
Saquon Barkley was barely in the mix in the second half. The Eaglesโ running game vanished. Jalen Hurts threw one touchdown and half the offense looked like a costume. When your passing game is dead, you might as well not even pretend youโre a serious contender.
That โtush pushโ everyone talks about? Philly leaned on it like it was their savior. They ran it four times near the goal line with linemen blatantly false starting. You can see it, the booth can see it, everybody sees it, but the refs let it slide. Thatโs not officiating, thatโs televised robbery.
If your only reliable play is a push from a few yards out, you’re in trouble. And Philly is in deep trouble.
LeBronโs โDecision 2.0โ Was a Marketing Scam
This so-called โDecision 2.0โ teaser drops and half the world thinks LeBronโs announcing retirement. One fan even dropped $856 on Lakers tickets thinking it was LeBronโs farewell tour. Spoiler alert: it was a Hennessy ad.
Now that guy is suing LeBron for getting โduped.โ Thatโs like betting on a coin flip and then crying when it lands on tails. You lost your money. Welcome to life.
What really gets me is FanDuelโs part in this. They posted โLeBron is retiringโ in big bold letters, then snuck in โnotโ in microscopic font. Thatโs some finger-in-the-wind clickbait garbage from a gambling company that takes your money. Thatโs not a good look if you have any ethics.
LeBron came out looking smooth, rich, and untouchable. You thought you were watching a legendโs last act. You were watching a billion dollar flex.
The All American Halftime Show Is Pure Theater
Turning Point USA announced their own โAll American Halftime Showโ to run alongside Bad Bunnyโs Super Bowl performance. Their branding is โfaith, family, football, and freedom.โ Their beef is that Bad Bunny speaks Spanish.
This is cultural theater, not entertainment. Itโs a signal that if you donโt get the lyrics, apparently you shouldnโt be on the field. Their show is going to lean into English only music, patriotic themes, and conservative vibes.
Itโs just dumb. It reads like a parody. But people are going to tune in anyway, and TPUSA gets to say โdid you see whoโs doing the real halftime show?โ Meanwhile Bad Bunny stays quiet and does what he does best.
Yankees and Phillies: Comedy of Errors
Yankees fans are unbearable. They lose again, theyโll spend billions next offseason, hit 700 home runs in spring training, and choke again in October. Their fans crow about Aaron Judgeโs home run heroics like it won them the World Series. It didnโt. They lost.
Anthony Volpe is terrible. If he played for Pittsburgh, Iโd riot. The guy is automatic death at the plate, and yet he keeps getting at bats.
The Phillies were even funnier. Bases loaded, tie game, ball hit to the pitcher. He fields it clean, the catcher points at first base, and the pitcher sails it into the dugout. Thatโs one of the worst throws Iโve ever seen. Game over. Season over.
You dominate 162 games and lose it all on one bad throw. Philly sucks. Theyโre pathetic.
Browns: The Franchise That Never Learns
Cleveland just traded Joe Flacco to Cincinnati while still paying eight quarterbacks. Deshaun Watson, Jameis Winston, Kenny Pickett, Bailey Zappe, Shedeur Sanders, Dorian Thompson Robinson, Dylan Gabriel, and another practice squad guy.
Their starter is Dylan Gabriel and Shedeur is the backup, but nobody knows whoโs really running this thing. Theyโre paying all these guys like itโs a fantasy league gone wrong.
Meanwhile, Baker Mayfield is out there winning games for someone else. The Browns keep throwing money at their own mistakes and calling it strategy.
Get rid of Shedeur. Move on. Stop spending everywhere. Itโs not working.
Leave a Reply