For the purposes of this blog, we are going to designate five categories that can assigned to a team and give our thoughts as to why they fit the bill.
The categories will be:
- Go all in
- Pretend you’re all in
- Stand pat
- Sell non long-term fits
- Sell Everything
Anaheim Ducks– Pretend you’re all in
The Ducks were briefly in first place in the pacific division. They have since fallen down to third in the division and will likely stay there as they will find it difficult to catch up with Vegas and/or Edmonton. So, what do you do with a younger squad that is looking to get their first crack at the playoffs? Pretend you’re all in. You find a glaring deficiency on the roster, and you bolster that one spot. The Ducks possess some terrible defensive metrics; they need to kill penalties. Go get yourself a Noel Acciari and pretend that you have any ability to win a playoff series.
Boston Bruins– Sell Everything (again)
The Bruins have turned back into a pumpkin, losing six straight. I have long thought their roster is garbage and its slowly proving to be true. Who can they sell? They only have Viktor Arvidsson as a UFA but that shouldn’t stop them from exploring all options. Sure, Geekie and Pastrnak are enjoying a good season together, but they should do Pasta a favor and send him to someone, he isn’t going to be a prolific goal scorer by the team they fix the heaping pile of trash they have assembled around him. Geekie also has no trade protection this season, selling high on him would make for some incredible fireworks at the deadline.
Buffalo Sabres– Go All In
It’s been too long since the people of Buffalo have seen playoff hockey. The team is currently on a heater and looking as if they will never lose again. Resign Tuch, trade for all of the best players, do everything to get into the playoffs. Even if they choose this method of thinking, Buffalo will find a way to fall short, but it would be extremely fun to watch.
Calgary Flames– Sell Everything
I am not sure how the flames could even possibly rationalize any other outcome. They made the playoffs last year, but they are not a good team. There is no reason to resign Andersson, there is no reason to bring back Kadri next season, and there is certainly no reason to try some sort of retool. The flames need to blow the whole damn thing up. This team needs to fall as far as possible, get some pieces for the future in the process, and hope to god you get a real difference maker in the draft so they can be exciting when their new rink opens in 2027.
Carolina Hurricanes– Pretend you’re all in
The Hurricanes are regular season merchants. They will be regular season merchants this year too. So, they might make big moves, hell they likely will, but that doesn’t mean they are doing anything other than pretending. Nothing they do is going to win them a Stanley Cup. I think they have a good chance to make the conference finals again, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t frauds. They tried trading for a true superstar last season; he didn’t want to be there. Maybe, they will try to shake another superstar loose and that will help them get to the finals where they’ll promptly get steamrolled by Colorado or Dallas.
Chicago Blackhawks– Sell non-long-term fits
The Blackhawks are probably still rebuilding. The roster without Bedard and Nazar is a tough watch. However, I wouldn’t put them into the sell everything category. They need to begin getting out the players that are there simply to fill the roster and start opening spots for when they can actually close out the rebuild. Half their roster is on an expiring deal, sell most of them. Also, hockey Canada is kinda crazy for not considering Bedard for Team Canada he has been excellent this year propping up an otherwise horrible team.
Colorado Avalanche– Go for it
Uhhh duh. Best team in the league. Mackinnon is the best player in the league (and has proven he can win unlike the bum in Edmonton). Get whatever you feel like you need and go from there. P.S. no they will not be getting Crosby.
Columbus Blue Jackets– Stand pat
They have some good younger players. They will contend for a playoff spot this season, and fail to get in. They could probably use some more pieces for the future but give these guys a go but don’t play with their emotions pretending you are going for it. Columbus is probably in NHL purgatory until they land themselves a Celebrini anyway, at least Fantilli is only a tier below that in my opinion.
Dallas Stars– Go for it
Their write up is pretty much the same as Colorado’s except they don’t have a Mackinnon. No trade is going to net them a Mackinnon, so they just need to bank on their team depth and sure up any spots within the roster they think they need to improve. I believe they will trade with Calgary for Rasmus Andersson. No matter what they do, their second-round matchup against Colorado is going to be a movie.
Detroit Red Wings– Go for it
The Red Wings, like the Sabres, have not made the playoffs in far too long. They are currently in first place in their division; they are oozing with young talent especially on defense. If I am Detroit, I am calling up Pittsburgh for Bryan Rust every single day. The “Yzerplan” really has not been what anyone envisioned and his time with Tampa was seeming more about the players he lucked into. I would be weary if I was a Wings fan and Yzerman was making a trade with the prodigal son that is Kyle Dubas, easy pickings for another Dubas masterclass.
Edmonton Oilers– Sell Everything
They are never winning the cup with their current captain. McDavid is a loser, I have said it a million times, and I will say it a million more. This goes beyond McDavid and beyond their recent hot streak. They are too streaky, they lack depth, and their goaltending situation is no better with Jarry. They will go all in and trade for whatever they can given their cap situation, but they’ll fall short again. Blow it up. Send McDavid to LA in a PR stunt just like Gretzky.
Florida Panthers– Stand pat
They probably aren’t winning three straight cups. The injuries this year are massive, and their best acquisition would be in Barkov can make a miraculous comeback from a nasty knee injury. They’re depleted in terms of a prospect pool and draft picks, kicking that can further down the road for an unlikely chance at a third cup seems like a dumb decision in my opinion.
Los Angeles Kings– Sell non-long-term fits
I hate this roster. They have one center who will be on the roster next season. They are rapidly aging and slow. Everything they did in this offseason made me actually laugh out loud. I think they will make the playoffs this year because the bad teams in the west are really bad. Even with making the playoffs this isn’t a team that can compete so get out ahead of it and sell some pieces off. Ken Holland is a bad GM though so he will certainly make some mind-boggling bad trades in an attempt to go for it.
Minnesota Wild– Go for it
They have already gone for it by getting Quinn Hughes. I don’t think the train is stopping there though. I think Guerin will acquire anyone that can help his team get a Stanley Cup. They would be wise to find some center depth but that is going to be very difficult. If I am Minnesota, I am calling and making offers on any name, regardless of position, that becomes available. If this team finds a way to get one more big piece, they could have the misfortune of playing Colorado in round two instead of Dallas.
Montreal Canadiens– Pretend you’re all in
Maybe they wade into the go for it zone but they should realize they are pretenders. They should probably make the playoffs, if the goaltending of Fowler holds up then they definitely will, but that doesn’t mean they are ready to full send towards a championship. The rebuilding window is definitely over in Montreal, and they have all of the young pieces and prospects necessary to swing a big trade I just feel like they are better off to pick from the edges rather than trying to obtain the entire tree. Most of their young core got the playoff experience last year but they’re still a year or two away from full on contention. Montreal would have a hell of a time trying to play with Tampa and Florida right now, I don’t believe one big piece is going to put them ahead of either team from the Sunshine State.
Nashville Predators– Sell Everything
Barry Trotz should go back behind the bench. He is a messy GM who has made a lot of big mistakes since taking over the roster construction. He can begin to fix those mistakes by firing the coach and taking the job himself. This would also allow for someone who actually knows how to a manage a team to come in and reset the roster. When he signed the three biggest free agents two years ago everyone was in awe of his work, people forgot that seldomly do teams get boosted via free agency. Players that become free agents are likely not as desirable as they seem, Nashville found that out the hard way. What is even harder is the fact those free agents are still the best trade pieces they have, and you have to offload at least one of them somehow. Also, they have to stop treating Ryan O’Rielly as some sort of God, he doesn’t have a no trade clause so trade him wherever the hell you get the best offer. Shoutout to Stammer for scoring his 600th goal, look for 625 to help playing for New Jersey.
New Jersey Devils– Go All In
As mentioned above, I think the Devils are going to look to acquire Stamkos. I don’t necessarily think that is the correct move for them, but they need to do something. Much like Nashville, the Devils have put themselves in a bad situation with a few bad contracts adding another in Stamkos is probably not ideal. Unlike Nashville, New Jersey is still a good team. They tried to unite the Hughes brothers and as cool as that would have been, this team needs a couple of new forwards more than anything else. Their coach recently called them out for having no balls, so the vibes are not great in America’s armpit maybe a big trade could help turn that around.
New York Islanders– Sell non-long-term fits
The Islanders have been a success story this year under rookie GM Darche. Their success this year shouldn’t change the plans for the team. They need to be looking at offloading some older guys and turn the youth movement up to 100. They did their most important move in the offseason by firing Lou Lamoriello. Lou is fiercely respected in the hockey community which is puzzling because not only was he horrible at his job, but he was also a dickhead. Now that Darche is at the helm, they have a competent human being running the show which will pay dividends in a few years as he has quickly revamped the prospect pool (he also got lucky to win the draft lottery). The Islanders should know they have no real opportunity to win the cup and should be quasi-sellers this year to keep building towards the future.
New York Rangers– Sell Everything
It has to be time to clean house. Drury should be fired, Panarin should be traded, and anyone else worth anything should be moved too. The Rangers are rapidly aging and thus have become offensively inept. Mike Sullivan really took on a job that was like the Penguins 2.0 but worse because they don’t have a Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin in NYC. The Rangers have a 67% chance in every single period they play to not score a goal, that’s how bad things have become this season. Nothing about this current roster inspires hope, they are gross, and simply a flawed hockey team.
Ottawa Senators– Pretend you’re all in
The Senators are a hard one to figure out. They made the playoffs last season, but it’s looking like a difficult task to repeat this season. I still feel like they need to pretend they’re going for it due to last season’s success. The Sen’s have actually been a good defensive team so far this year, but the goaltending has not been there to help them build on the results from last year. Given the team’s timeline with the age of the roster, they aren’t going to be sellers so maybe trading for some pieces will rejuvenate the roster and they will squeak into the playoffs.
Philadelphia Flyers– Sell Everything
They haven’t won a cup since 1975. They likely won’t win another. They are a city full of scumbags with a team also full of scumbags. Honestly, relegate them to the AHL so no one has to see that disgusting orange on their TV screen. Trevor Zegras is a loser and a cowhard. Mitchkov is Yakupov. Nothing they do this season, even if they make the playoffs, will make them relevant.
Pittsburgh Penguins– Sell non-long-term fits and pretend you are all in
I guess by definition that would sum up to standing pat. Dubas doesn’t stand pat though. We have already seen this plan in motion. They have got rid of Jarry because he isn’t the long-term answer in net. They spent good draft capital to acquire Chinakov which may allow them to trade out another contract that won’t be producing when the rebuild is complete. They are walking a tight rope and doing whatever roster deconstruction possible that allows them to also still have a reasonable chance at Sid and Geno making the playoffs together one more time. Will a Rust or Rakell be moved? I think it’s certainly possible, but it would be accompanied by Dubas bringing in a young stud to ease the departure. The Penguins might not make the playoffs this season, but they are so back. They have all the picks, cap space, and brains running the show to place them right back into dominance.
San Jose Sharks– Pretend you are all in
Celebrini is a wizard. He has the Sharks in a playoff spot. No, they aren’t going to stay there but the GM Greer has done a good job drafting and compiling assets. Now that you have Celebrini being a Bonafide superstar, you have to start bringing in talent. Now, should they be making trades for rentals? No. However, they should start looking at younger players that have a chance to grow with this roster. A guy currently an RFA who is unsigned and Team USA has no respect for is Jason Robertson, call up Dallas (off-season move) and go get another top-tier talent. The sharks should also be canvasing the entire league for any defensemen that become available. Come next season, if the sharks pretend enough this year, San Jose could be a top tier team in the West.
Seattle Kraken– Sell Everything
The Kraken need a gamebreaker. They boast a lineup with a bunch of B or C level players. The best way to find yourself an A level player is selling everything, get as many lottery tickets as you can, and hope to draft one. The 2026 draft by all accounts is going to be a good one so the time is now for Seattle (to be as bad as possible). The longer that they wade in purgatory, the worse things are going to get. To be honest, there are times I even forget this is a franchise because they are so irrelevant, that can all change with one draft pick.
St. Louis Blues– Sell Everything
The Blues are basically the Rangers of the West. They are a flawed hockey team with no real shot at contending without a major overhaul of the roster. They need to get younger on defense and they need to stop pretending that Jordan Binnington is any good. I think everyone in St. Louis should be available, excluding some of their younger pieces. I don’t find them to be a grotesquely ran as the Rangers, but I do think they are in need of a major shakeup. For now, they are irrelevant with some of my favorite jerseys in the league.
Tampa Bay Lightning– Stand Pat
You might think Tampa should be in the go for it range. I wouldn’t necessarily disagree, but I think they are good enough to win it all as currently constructed. They can make some minor trades to round out the team, but I wouldn’t go crazy. The Lightning are bound to hit the aging curve within the next couple of seasons, that doesn’t mean you abandon going for the cup, it does mean you should be more careful with your assets (which are limited to begin with).
Toronto Maple Leafs-Sell Everything
They might be the slowest team in the NHL. Berube is a fraud. Treliving is also a fraud. Auston Matthews has a back injury that he is refusing to get fixed so he can play in the Olympics. They never replaced Marner. Everything they have done has essentially turned to shit. They should clean house and start again. The Leafs are never winning the cup anyway, so I don’t know why it matters. If this team played in Wyoming, no one on planet earth would pay them any attention.
Utah Mammoth– Pretend you are all in
They have the young core in place. They will probably fall short of the playoffs because of the Logan Cooley injury. However, they need to stop looking towards the future and look towards the now. I would lump them in with the sharks and ducks as basically the same franchise. They aren’t too far away from being one of the best teams in the conference. If they decide to sell pieces, they will just move themselves further away from true contention. So you either stand pat or make moves that will benefit you in the short and long term.
Vancouver Canucks– Sell everything
They are the opposite of their recent trade partner, Minnesota, as they have already begun selling everything. They don’t have too many other entertaining pieces to sell, but Garland and Sherwood should both be moved. Vancouver refuses to rebuild, and I understand the logic in that, but it’s time. Jim Rutherford is too honest, and it gets his teams in trouble. The locker room has been a mess for two seasons and Jim helped stoke the fire at numerous points. Vancouver needs to start building fresh and stay out of the headlines for a while, it’s crazy to think that a 22-year-old Artus Silovs almost beat Edmonton two years ago and now the franchise is basically a laughingstock.
Washington Capitals– Go for it?
What a confusing team. I really look at the roster, and I am still puzzled how they are so good. Obviously, they have got phenomenal goaltending, but they have also struck gold with every move they made prior to last season. Ovechkin is assuredly going to retire after this year, so you are almost forced to go all in. I really don’t think the team can win the cup as currently constructed, a hot Logan Thompson could easily carry them there though. Go for it and pray you can ride a hot goalie to the finals.
Winnipeg Jets– Sell Everything
The Jets are currently last in the NHL in points percentage following a year where they were first in the same category. Winnipeg is tough place to attract talent. They are on a lot of no trade clauses, and they struggled to sign free agents. The best way for the organization to grow is to bring in drafted talent. The best to bring in drafted talent is to look at yourselves in a mirror and realize this just isn’t going to be your year. Even if they make the playoffs, they will likely play Colorado round one and get steamrolled. They have an embarrassing lack of finishing ability and can only be saved by Hellebuyck, but he turned into a pumpkin every April. The Jets are such a fun team to see in the playoffs because their home ice atmosphere is outrageous, that’s just not in the cards this season.
ROLL WITH HAIL MARY MEDIA
Like this kind of chaos? Stay tapped in.
Follow us on X for live reactions, bad beats, and daily sports rants.
FOLLOW @HAILMARYMEDIA_ ON XNot done yet? CLICK HERE for more blogs.
Leave a Reply